Turinys

4.

Difficulty level

Make-Your-Own-Dildo Sounds Interesting…But Woah, I’m Not THAT Bothered

Okay, so maybe Professional-tier dildo maker is too intense for you, so we’ll take it down a notch. How about just…Dildo Enthusiast who is willing to do SOME work for their own use? That’s more like it, and you’ll be glad to hear I have several options for you, here.

Peg Away Putty

This one’s excellent for those of you who are young at heart (and old everywhere else – HA!) and used to enjoy playing with silly putty. Nostalgic over that? Here’s your chance to recreate those fond memories.

The Peg Away Putty is your one-stop-shop for all of your dildo-ing needs. There are like, 4 different kits to choose from, depending on how much of the magic putty you need: do you want to create a whole new toy, or just build an add-on for an old one? The beauty of this is that it can be used to “personalize” your existing silicone toys by adding new bits to them, new textures, or just extra parts that enhance your experience. They’ll look ridiculous at the end, but they’ll feel great!

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/UoOvKpH3sDE

More instructional videos from Square Peg Toys.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you: once this thing sticks, it won’t come off, so make sure you really want your toy “enhanced”.

Let’s get this party started!

What you get:

Tinted putty
Clear activator

You really don’t need anything else, except for like, toys you want to modify, and the general accoutrements one needs to make sure they don’t get everything dirty: gloves, a cover for your table, etc.

STEP 1: Be mindful of where you work with this stuff, because latex might ruin certain surfaces. To be on the safe side, waxed paper is almost always a good choice for any DIY and arts & crafts projects , or aluminum foil. If you want to wear gloves, make sure they’re not latex one, as they will interfere with the process.

STEP 2: Know what you plan on making, because once you activate the putty, you’ve got a certain time frame to achieve your vision. If you need to draw your design, measure it out, sketch something based on another toy you have or your favorite penis, now is the time to do it.

STEP 3: If you’re using an already existing toy that you want to “mutate”, now is the time to thoroughly degrease it. It should be cleansed properly to remove all traces of oils, lube, grease, body fluids, dirt, etc. That will ensure that your putty will adhere nicely.

STEP 4: Mix your colors, if you have them. Peg Away Putty comes in several colors, so if you’ve got them and you want a certain shade, you’d better start working on that now, before activation.

STEP 5: Mix the activator in! You want equal parts clear activator and colored putty, so make sure to use the same quantity for both, and that you don’t trap air into your putty. You should try to complete this process as fast as possible, to give you time to actually shape the toy. Think of it as silly putty, playdoh, etc. and the way you used to mix colors – play around with it until you’ve got the color homogenized. They advise that this shouldn’t take more than 2 minutes, so it’s a race against the clock to make that one! How exciting.

STEP 6: Now you’ve got around 5 minutes to shape your toy! GO! GO! GO! Remember that you don’t necessarily need to do it all in one go, you can also do this in stages; the putty with stick to itself without issues.

STEP 7: All that’s left is to give it a few hours (I’d say 2 to 3) to harden and “cure”, and you’re done!

It’s a good idea to wash any toy you make, just to ensure everything’s nice and sanitary. Enjoy your new mutant dildo!

Candy Dildo

Yes, you read that right – we’re gonna be making candy dildos. There are some concerns over a sugary material going up your vag that we’ll address at the end, where you’ll remember it.

Make Your Mold

You need this:

A milk carton
Something greasy (vegetable oil works)
A phallic object or dildo
Paraffin wax

PHASE 1!

Okay, so first we need to create the mold for our candy dildo (I can’t believe I’m writing this). Ideally, you’d have a dildo you want to replicate, but you can substitute that. Any phallic item will do just fine, as long as you’re cool with possibly ruining it forever.

First, you need a milk carton or a similar container. You want to make sure that it’s a bit taller than the object you are using. Now, use vegetable oil or even shortening to grease up the toy, so that it comes out from the wax we’re pouring over it. Put it inside the carton, and do your best to place it in the center, so you get a good mold out of this.

Now take that paraffin wax and melt it on low heat. I can’t tell you exactly how much you need, because it depends on how big your object is. You can have a guess by checking with water beforehand. Just to let you know, you can get around 2 cups of liquid paraffin wax from 1 pound.

Is your toy in the container? Is it all greased up? Perfect. Start pouring the liquid wax and make extra sure that it covers the object completely and that you have some extra at the top. You need to let this cool for a few hours (overnight is ideal), so it can become solid.

Okay, PHASE 2!

Is the whole thing a hunk of solid wax? Then, you can take a knife and cut the whole block in half, starting from the top.

(Quick cheat: if you take a lighter and heat up the blade, it’ll cut the wax easier because it causes it to melt a little bit. OOOOOOOO SCIENCE.)

Once you’ve cut it all around, you can take the sides apart, and voila! Once you take the object out, you’ve got yourself a mold. Grease the inside up again, bring your half molds together, and tie them together with a rubber band or something. You want to make this stick together.

Make your dildo

PHASE 3! We’re making the dildo!

You need this:

1 cup sugar
1/3 cup butter
3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup powdered milk
2/3 cup white corn syrup
1 tsp vanilla (this is if you wanna eat it; if not, ignore this)
¼ tsp salt

If you’ve ever baked before, this should be easy. You just need to dump powdered milk, salt, and powdered sugar in a bowl. In a pan, dump the butter, the corn syrup, and the sugar. Be careful not to burn it, so stir until it’s boiling. You can then boil it on low for like, 5 minutes, take it off the heat, and put the vanilla in. Then put in all that powdered stuff you mixed together in the bowl.

Take all this stuff to your mixer (yes, really; this dildo is a lot of work, isn’t it?) and beat it (teehee) until you get a taffy-like consistency. You got it nice and soft? Great. It means it’s ready to be poured into the mold. Literally dying of excitement over here.

Take the mixture and start pouring it into the mold until you fill it up. Then, all you need to do is let it set. If you put it in the fridge for a few hours (again, even better overnight), you’re golden.

Once your fake penis is hard (I’M SORRY, I couldn’t help myself), you can take the mold apart and give your brand new (delicious) toy a good wipe. It’s gonna be sticky and gross, so you might wanna give it a cornstarch dusting.

And if you’re sitting there thinking that it’s so great you can’t get pregnant from your toy, so you don’t need a condom, think again – sugar up your vag means one thing:

HOLY YEAST INFECTION, BATMAN!

Cover that thing up, or your vag will hate you. I’m just saying.

Note: Candy dildos, being made out of edible ingredients, need to be covered up with a condom because of the infection risks.