Tantra, Monogamy and Safe Sex

The concern about safe sex has resulted in a revival of monogamy. But there is no turning back the clock. Sex is out of the closet since the free love days of the sixties. The problem with monogamy has always been boredom. The initial passion drops off pretty rapidly in a typical relationship, but not the lust of sexual desire. Eventually, the right (or wrong) set of circumstances come together and you have infidelity. It’s not that people are bad, they are just human. To be human is to be in a body. To be in a body is to be sexual. For men being sexual means they sometimes think with what is between their legs instead of what is inside their head. But a man’s penis is single minded , ruthless and often as not, amoral. A penis knows only desire, and when the hot sexual energy is active, you might as well be dealing with an addict. At such a moment all a man can think of is how to get the next fix. At such times there are few men alive who can resist the inviting smile on a pretty woman’s face, or the parting of her legs. Fortunately we now have Sacred Sex. Actually, Tantra has been around for thousands of years. There are those who have learned that the best sex, the kind that makes the Earth shake and the Cosmos split open, sometimes transporting the lovers right our of their bodies, is energy sex, not just friction between two people.

How to Perform Fellatio

Let's begin with a word of reassurance: as long as there are no teeth involved, there's really no such thing as bad fellatio, also known as a "blow job" (though there's no blowing involved). For the recipient, they range from "That was a nice little bit of foreplay" to a mind-bending "Oh my god, I think I almost lost consciousness." But with a little practice, and a few easy tips, you can improve your odds of providing a truly great blow job every time. Be Safe. First things first: If you're not with a monogamous partner, be safe and use a condom. Granted, oral sex is easier to give and enjoy without the condom, but you absolutely have to put your own health first. Don't like the taste? Not a problem. Experiment with some of the flavored condoms on the market -- that's what they're there for! And applying water-based lube to the penis before you put on the condom will greatly increase his pleasure. Get Comfortable. Get into a position that provides you easy access but is also comfortable. Change positions as necessary -- after all, he wants you to enjoy yourself, too. If you're kneeling on the floor in front of him, use a pillow under your knees.

Are Gay Men Afraid of Love?

A shirtless young man posing for a picture

At times, the gay dating scene can seem like a maelstrom of noncommittal men all waiting for the next date. The number of eligible men online, at the beach, the club or the grocery store is overwhelming. Some are only looking for sex, but many are looking for love. Finding gay love is only a step away... if you're willing to see it! Imagine being granted exclusive access to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. You're there with thousands of other lucky winners, but the focus is on just you. There is plenty for all. As you enter the sweet smelling factory, you're taken aback by the delightful treats all around you. Overstimulation seems like an understatement. You revert back to your childhood days, eager to sprint through the many aisles of endless sweet treats. Just as you are about to empty your pockets in preparation for your candy stash, the staff abruptly halts your progress to go over the ground rules: You have free access to every corner of the factory. You can tour as long as you like- hours, weeks, years, a lifetime. You can sample every candy imaginable- thousands upon thousands of hard, soft, chewy, big and small delicacies. But you can only leave home with a bag full of one candy- yes, only one!

How to Perform Cunnilingus: Tips from the Experts

Again, every body is different. However, some variation on the following plan should work wonders. Set the scene with candles, fresh flowers, incense, soft music... whatever she prefers. Your thoughtfulness will surprise and delight her. Make sure she's comfortable. Encourage her to recline on the bed. Place a few pillows behind her head. Make sure she isn't cold. Don't dive directly for the genitals; spend some time kissing her lips, shoulders, breasts and belly. Stroke her lightly with your fingertips. Tell her how beautiful she is. Move down between her legs and gently kiss, blow, stroke and nibble her belly, inner thighs and hips. When she's breathing heavily, gently spread her legs and kiss her pubic mound. Nuzzle around for a few minutes, spending time with the different parts of her vulva. Pay attention to her breathing; when she breathes faster, she's enjoying herself more. Take note of what she likes and repeat it. When she sounds highly aroused -- she may be wiggling around a bit, as well -- spread her labia and gently kiss and tongue her clitoris. Don't hold the clitoral hood back unless she instructs you too -- the clitoris is highly sensitive.

No Barriers to Oral Loving! Using Condoms and Dental Dams for Safer Oral Sex

Named for the protective shield used during dental surgery, a dental dam is a small sheet of latex that acts as a barrier between your mouth and your partner's vagina or anus. Once only made in shades of translucent white or hospital blue, dental dams are now available in different colors, shapes and sizes. Dental dams are an extremely effective means of preventing infection during oral sex performed on the anus or vagina. While the thought of holding a sheet of latex between you and your partner's private parts may seem a little weird, in reality, dental dams are easy to use and afford a great deal of sensation during cunnilingus or analingus. Before you use the dam, rinse it off with warm water to remove any "sterile" flavors, and dry it with a soft, clean a towel. Check to be sure the dam is free of holes or breakage by holding it up to the light or running warm water over it. Finally, remember to use only one side of the dam during love play. If you flip it over and lick the other side, you're defeating the purpose of using the dam! Some people use a felt-tip pen to write "This Side Up" -- or perhaps something a little sexier, like "Lick Here"!