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My vagina protects itself from various things. It has populations of friendly microorganisms that prevent other bugs from growing in it. It is acidic to kill things. It is hidden inside me in a covert location. The cervix makes protective mucus to keep things out of my uterus. I also protect my vagina in various conscious ways. I don't consider underwear one of them, as I don't think a flimsy layer of cloth keeps much out. I sort of protect my vagina from various diseases by getting periodic preventative checkups at the doctor. Mainly I have protected my vagina from being infected, and protected myself from becoming impregnated through my vagina.

I'm pretty into my vaginal muscles. When I was 16 or 17, I read a collection of Germaine Greer's early articles for various underground newspapers (The Madwoman's Underclothes, most libraries have it). I totally loved one article called Lady, Love Your Cunt, and it seriously changed my relationship with my vagina. Part of the article went off about not wearing underwear, and part of it was about exercising vaginal muscles, both to make them strong and elastic and as a hands-free masturbation technique. This was similar to Kegel exercises, which I found out about later. I've never seen Kegel exercises given as a masturbation technique, but I have seen them described as a way to improve sex. I've gotten pretty good at this. It is very easy and has all kinds of benefits. Also, it is probably the main way I got to be familiar with my vagina. A productive way to spend some time getting to know how the vagina works and stuff.

Children and sex are inextricably linked in the conservative imagination. They are the lure and the fear, the bait and the trap, a measure of how far decent social behavior has gone down the tubes, of how a morally corrupt liberal social agenda has replaced God-fearing purity. Whether the issue is sex education, the banning of pornography, condom distribution in schools, or the specter of day-care centers overrun by ritual satanic abusers, the linkage of kids and sex is sure to make headlines, tempers boil, and, unfortunately, bad social policy. But there are plenty of situations where the linkage of kids and sex raises scarcely an eyebrow on the right or the left. Think of those numerous ads in the New York Times Magazine that feature pubescent boys and girls in scanty, sexy summer clothes by Calvin Klein or Gap. Think of TV soap advertising (particularly Ivory) that depict daddies and children frolicking naked in the bathtub. Or the Fruit of the Loom ad featuring a drop-dead hunk of a dad and his 6-year-old son walking hand-in-hand in their undies to take a morning leak together. Think about 60 years of the Coppertone ad where a dog is pulling a little girl's bathing suit down, exposing her left buttock. Kids and sex have always been a staple in advertising.

I'm not sure at which point arousal and orgasm are distinguished. I usually think of orgasms as just the sexual climax, but I've heard them described as a process culminating in the climax. However things are defined, I have to be aroused before I have an orgasm. The usual progression begins with fairly localized good feelings centered around my clitoris. As I get more excited, these intensify and spread to a kind of deep pelvic pleasure and a desire to be touched both at the clitoral center of this business and inside my vagina. I don't think these desires are intellectual, I think they are the nature of the pleasure feelings. I would describe all of these things as arousal. I can experience all of them with no actual stimulation besides thinking, and if I don't do anything about them they will eventually go away. (For other things that can stimulate them, see arousal.)

The morning after pill is a very effective form of birth control (some kind of 99% figure), and can work up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. It is for emergencies only, as it involves quite high doses of hormones that would not be safe to take all the time. As a single-use drug however, it is very safe (often described as safer than aspirin). All of this I knew and had confirmed for me by a very public health doctor. There are no stats on long-term side effects of the morning after pill (written MAP on prescriptions), but they are not expected to be important because of the brevity of exposure to the drugs and the similarity to birth control pills. Also, in the event of failure, the effects of the hormones on the developing embryo are expected to be minimal because there have been no observed impacts of taking birth control pills by accident in the early stages of pregnancy.

The clitoris is "the spot" that is the major pleasure center in most women. In fact, the majority of women need stimulation of this area in order to orgasm at all. That's because the clitoris is physiologically similar to the penis. When you get aroused, the area engorges with blood and begins to swell. The difference in the size of the clitoris before and after arousal varies between "not noticeable" and "wow, look at that." However, the amount that your clitoris swells is not related how much pleasure you can receive or how easily you achieve orgasm. Like the penis of a man, the size does not relate to its ability to function. You can stimulate your clitoris with anything that feels good. Fingers and vibrators are the most frequent choices, although there are nearly as many female masturbation techniques as there are women. One of the great tips is to start someplace other than your clitoris. There are lots of other places that will cause pleasure and get you in the mood. Once you do get there, play with different speeds, pressures, directions, and so on. There is no "right way" to stimulate your clitoris; you'll just have to experiment and see what works best for you. Once you find something that feels good, keep doing it. When it begins to feel less good, try something else.

My ovaries are only vaguely attached to my vagina, but because they are involved in many vaginal activities I am including them on the site. It might seem like an ovary would be a passive, silent internal organ like a liver or a kidney, which you would never really be aware of, but I find quite the contrary. Ovaries are bizarre. I can feel one right now, as I write this. The main times that I am aware of my ovaries are during ovulation and bleeding times in my cycle, and sometimes during or after sex. Also sometimes during gynecological exams I think about them, but I haven't ever been able to feel them being prodded during abdominal exams. For review, ovaries are the two walnut shaped organs that hold all the unripe ova (eggs) in females, and produce various female sex hormones. Once per menstrual cycle, a ripe ovum bursts out of one or the other ovary. Yes, bursts. Explodes right through the wall of the organ. No tidy dispensing there. Hardcore! The equivalent male organs are the testes.

The following are fifteen of the most common female masturbation fantasies. These aren't in order because one isn't "better" than any other. Try them all and every other one you can think of and you will begin to find out what really turns you on. Sex in Public. The sex in public fantasy is not about people watching you have sex. Rather it's about fooling around somewhere where there's the risk of getting caught. My personal favorite is grabbing my partner, jumping behind one of the sofas at American Furniture Warehouse, and just going at it while I can hear people discussing the pros and cons of this particular sofa just a few feet away from us. I know that there's almost no chance of someone actually looking behind it and seeing us, but the fear of it happening is very exciting. Of course in your fantasy you don't have to worry about being branded a sex offender if you do get caught. Heck, they may even join in!

My vagina only makes two noises that I am aware of, and it does not make them very often. The first kind of noise occurs when either set of my labia is quite wet, or if there is a pool of wetness at the mouth of my vagina. Moving my vagina in nearly any way will cause the wet parts to press against each other and pull apart, producing a noise like lapping, or bubbles popping. A wet noise. The other kind of noise is the oft made fun of farting noise that occurs after air is forced into my vagina during sex or daily life. My roommate informed me of a slang term they use in Kamloops for this but I forget it (wait, it's queef, and many people seem to use this judging by the emails I've been getting...Another suggestion: vart). I've never known a vulgar term for these.

The official latin-based term for oral sex on a female is cunnilingus. A friend of mine wants to make a product called something like Honeylingus. I don't use either of these terms except in official discussion. I rarely use 'going down' either. I think I have avoided most established sexual terms for some reason. Right now my beloved and I say "kissing on" to refer to either of us, and context explains where this kissing on would occur. It is kind of nice not to define things exactly. I like to have my vulva kissed on. It does not have to be carried through to orgasm, although it is one of the easiest ways for me to have one. Licking and kissing and things are sexy foreplay, and I like all the wet feelings. I have not found that either girls or boys are intuitively more adept at performing this, but other people might think otherwise. People get rapidly better with practise, and I think girls become more brilliantly skilled with less practise, possibly partly because being kissed on yourself is another source for ideas. To be a good kisser, I think that it is important to pay attention to how the woman you are kissing on is reacting.

I have kind of a problem referring to my vagina and vulva, because I have yet to find a name for them that satisfies me. I don't like the words vagina, or vulva or labia, and I'm a little unclear as to what to call the collection of all these anatomical parts; the whole internal-external unit. I guess genitals, but I don't like that word either. A thoughtful somebody emailed me "vagina-tachi," where tachi is apparently a Japanese word translating to "group" or "and company." The vaginal crew. There are other words that refer to the complete system (cunt and yoni come to mind), but I have yet to bond with any particular name. They usually either strike me as too vulgar or, more often, too airy-fairy/enchanted garden-y (flower and orchid come to mind). Most often, I refer to the whole entity as my unit, which you have probably noticed in reading through the site. This term is not unique to my genitals, but since making this site and being forced to refer to them much more frequently and bluntly than ever before, 'unit' has become a necessary and specific name, at least around the house.

When referring to virginity, I mostly use the word itself, but sometimes substitute derivatives of "purity" as a joke. In high school, my friends and I mostly used references to The Big V Club, with people being "in the club" or "out of the club." We also had a Big C Club for (mostly reluctantly) celibate people. These were just descriptive terms, we didn't have club activities or enforce membership or anything. We did have unofficial hand signs (V or C shaped fingers). Lately I also use derivatives of the word "nun"—nunnish, nunnery, etc. These sort of refer to this tiny bed I used to call my nun bed, and also to my roommate's two spayed nun-cats. I never really use the word "cherry" when referring to a virgin or to virginity, but my dad does (why do I know that?) and it comes up a lot in suggestive jokes on sitcoms and music videos.