Masturbation

Female masturbation seems to intrigue a lot of people, either because they can't figure out how common it is, or how girls do it at all. Or, of course, for voyeuristic reasons, as has been the case with most of the email anticipating this page.

I don't really know what proportion of girls masturbate, or how often, but I do it. Sometimes a lot, sometimes not as much. Not very much lately, because I live with my beloved boy and have sex almost every day, but when one of us goes somewhere for any length of time, I masturbate some.

There are lots of reasons that I have masturbated. Most often just because I wanted to, but also occasionally to get to sleep, or to help cramps or a headache, and sometimes to help get aroused, in which case I wouldn't follow through to orgasm. I didn't ever masturbate to relax before a date or a party.

The first time I masturbated was in grade 8. The idea hadn't occurred to me until it was discussed in sex education class. The class convinced me that it wasn't wrong or unhealthy, but I knew that my dork status would be elevated to perverted dork if anyone ever had reason to suspect my habits.

Until about grade 10, I don't remember having any kind of discussion about masturbation with any of my friends, except in the context of dirty jokes. For the rest of high school, the most myself or my girl friends would say was impersonal and kind of political. Agreeing that masturbation by girls in general should be accepted, the way it was for boys. Stating that it was silly that a masturbating boy was deemed healthy while a masturbating girl should be taken to the doctor. I don't remember guys getting in on the discussion.

That was all more applicable in a small, redneck town such as we lived in. Some girl once made a comment in health class to the effect that she couldn't be expected to know what her vagina looked like because she would never, ever look at it. Only my friend and myself were taken aback.

Until I was about 20, I never discussed or referred to masturbation, so I didn't develop any other names for it. I knew various names but didn't use them. I don't remember telling a lot of masturbation jokes, and I'm pretty sure I never accused anybody of it or made fun of them for it. Currently, I prefer to refer to my own masturbation as either "availing myself of myself," or as, umm ... beating my meat (when I am being silly).

The only girl I have ever witnessed masturbating was at a sleepover in grade nine, when I woke up early. It was nothing graphic (she was still laying in bed), I could just tell what she was doing. All I thought was that she was kind of dumb for not realizing I was awake, as I presumed she didn't want me to see.

She was proceeding in about the same way I would, as far as I could tell, and the existence of radically different methods didn't occur to me until like last year, when I was reading a lamely-executed masturbation resource page for entertainment.

What I have always done is (voyeurs get ready but know that I probably wouldn't get you off on purpose) rub two or three fingertips between the outer labia of my vulva, just above my clitoris. This pulls the skin of the clitoral hood against the erectile nub itself and feels good. I find my clitoris too sensitive to touch directly. I don't move my fingers in circles or anything, just up and down, fairly quickly. I've never seen another girl masturbate, or had a girl graphically guide me in touching her, so I can't vouch for anyone else's technique.

If I am not concerned about mess on my fingers, I'll get them slippery with the wetness my vagina makes. If I am especially concerned about mess or smell, I'll rub through my underwear or clothes. I used to like my long underwear for the waffle texture.

Sometimes I would also insert things in my vagina—mostly just my own fingers but occasionally small objects, commonly bottles of lotion or bath oil. Also, in high school, if I had somehow mustered up the courage to buy a sexy bra on a shopping trip with my mum, I might put it on while I masturbated. I eventually stopped doing that, maybe after I got used to the idea that I could occasionally be sexy.

The first few times I masturbated, I was too overwhelmed with the discovery of orgasms to fantasize at all. Since then, I've fantasized more often than not. Sometimes the masturbating would arise out of the fantasizing, and sometimes I would be masturbating just because I was randomly aroused and end up fantasizing.

The object of my fantasies was more likely to be a specific person if I was fantasizing before I started touching myself. The popular belief seems to be that girls always masturbate about a specific person, with a face etc., but I have had fantasy lovers with no identity. Sometimes my smutty thoughts would just be about an act, not about a particular person, or about a feeling that I didn't put into specific images or words. Sometimes the mental fantasy was more about a sensation or idea than a sex act or person. Oooh, arty me I masturbate about colours and air. Anyway. If I had a serious crush object then they would be the default fantasy lover.

For a couple of years I meditated almost every day in some form or another, and would sometimes focus on sexual energy and get myself all riled up with breathing exercises and the beauty of nature and the universe and end up masturbating because I couldn't achieve orgasm without touching.

Mostly I masturbated in bed before I went to sleep, but also often in the bath or shower, and sometimes other places (watching tv, camping) if the urge struck me. I don't remember masturbating anywhere very exciting or public.

When I first started, I masturbated quite a lot, and then would try to cut down, and not succeed, and then forget for awhile and slow down, and then masturbate a lot again, etc., etc. Usually the more I did it the more I wanted to. Every once in awhile I would make myself sore with rubbing and have to give it a rest for a couple of days. This pace tapered off as I got older, but I would still have bouts of frequent masturbation.

Having a regular sex life does not make me stop masturbating, although I think it does reduce the frequency a bit. Right now I reckon I take myself to bed (or wherever) once a week or so (?have not paid much attention).

Masturbation with and by other people has its own page.