Kaip tapti putytės laižymo meistru
Teksto dydis: +1, +2, normalus.Kaip tapti kunilingo meistru
Kunilingas turi nepelnytą reputaciją kaip vienas iš sudėtingiausių seksualinių veiksmų, kuriuos sunku atlikti gerai. Manau, kad toks vertinimas kyla iš kultūrinių stereotipų, pagal kuriuos vulva laikoma „sudėtinga“ ir „paslaptinga“. Panaikinkime šią neteisingą reputaciją, pateikdami keletą paprastų patarimų, kaip atlikti nuostabų kunilingą.
Šiam vadovui parengti pasikviečiau Ianą Kernerį, knygos „She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman“ autorių. Kaip sekso terapeutas, esu perskaitęs daugybę knygų su seksualiniais patarimais. „She Comes First“ be vargo patenka į mano asmeninį penketuką. Dauguma knygų apie seksą yra pernelyg nekonkrečios, kad būtų iš tikrųjų naudingos, tačiau Kerneris išsamiai aptaria visus kunilingo aspektus ir pateikia gausybę konkrečių technikų. Kerneris taip pat turėjo asmeninių priežasčių tobulinti savo oralinio sekso techniką – pirmoje knygos dalyje jis drąsiai prisipažįsta, kad jo kova su ankstyva ejakuliacija paskatino jį ieškoti kitų būdų, kaip patenkinti savo partneres. Taigi, remdamasis jo patarimais, pateikiu žingsnis po žingsnio vadovą, kaip išmokti puikiai patenkinti savo partnerę oraliniu seksu.
*Atkreipkite dėmesį, kad nors Kernerio knyga skirta vyrams, jo patarimai tinka ir moterims, kurios atlieka kunilingą.
Pirma: Padėkite partneriui atsipalaiduoti
Daugelis žmonių tiesiog nesijaučia patogiai, kai jiems atliekamas oralinis seksas. Ypač kai kurioms moterims tai susiję su kompleksais dėl savo kvapo ar skonio arba su įsitikinimu, kad jų lytiniai organai yra „negražūs“. Kai kurios nerimauja, kad jų partneriams šis patyrimas atrodo nemalonus. Kitos nemėgsta būti dėmesio centre arba negali atsipalaiduoti, kai joms atliekamas oralinis seksas. Moterys yra socializuotos būti pernelyg kritiškos savo kūnų atžvilgiu, todėl jūsų akys, nosis ir burna, esančios pačioje jautriausioje kūno dalyje, sukels bent šiek tiek pasipriešinimo.
Jūs negalėsite visiškai pakeisti savo partnerės santykio su savo kūnu vienu liežuvio judesiu, bet galite ypač pasistengti, kad ji jaustųsi laisviau. Kerner sako, kad tam reikia pakeisti ir savo pačių požiūrį į oralinį seksą. Vienas didžiausių klaidingų įsitikinimų apie kunilingą yra tas, kad „išorinis seksas“ yra mažiau patenkinantis nei „lytinis aktas“. Daugeliui oralinis seksas yra fiziškai maloniausias seksualinis veiksmas. Tai nėra „priešžaidimas“ ta prasme, kad jam skiriate keletą minučių, o tada pereinate prie „pagrindinio patiekalo“. Kai siūlote kam nors atlikti oralinį seksą, aiškiai parodykite, kad šią veiklą vertinate rimtai ir esate susijaudinęs tai daryti.
Kerneris turi skyrių, pavadintą „Kunilingo manifestas“, kuriame pateikiamos trys svarbios gairės, padėsiančios jums ir jūsų partneriui dar labiau mėgautis šia patirtimi:
Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does.
There’s no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment.
Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful. It all emanates from the same, beautiful essence.
If you can convey each of these beliefs in a sincere way, you’re miles ahead of most people!
Get comfortable: You’re in it for the long haul
Taking your time is another great way to help your partner feel more relaxed and excited about what you have in store. The clitoris is extremely sensitive, so you don’t want to dive in right away. Kerner recommends spending plenty of time “kissing, hugging, touching, and sharing fantasies,” and making sure your partner is aroused before starting to make your way between their legs. Once you’re down there, continue taking your time. Kerner says to “start with light vertical licks from bottom to top.”
It takes women 20 minutes on average to reach orgasm, so it’s important that you settle in for the journey, too:
Make sure your body is supported and that you’re stretched out and recumbent. You want your gums and tongue more at a 45 degree angle than 90 degrees, which is more comfortable. Let her do some of the work by pressing her body into your gum line. Her legs should be close enough together that you can lean to the right or left and rest your head comfortably against her leg while never missing a lick.
If you’re not a fan of laying on your stomach, you can try kneeling at the foot of the bed between their legs. Whatever you do, just make sure you’re prepared to take your time.
Hone in on a routine, but err on the side of caution
Kerner’s clients have some hilarious descriptions of the oral sex their partners performed. One woman complained that her partner treated cunnilingus like “the running of the bulls in Spain—a mad stampede for the clit.” Another said it felt like a “cobra defending itself from a mongoose.” Continuing the colorful metaphor trend, Kerner says, “Think of your tongue like the fluttering of gentle butterfly wings or like a thick wet magic marker carefully drawing a still-life.” Translation: it’s better to be gentle and methodical than too rough or overly acrobatic.
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What do you think so far?
That means you have to find a method that works and stick with it. One of the things I like best about She Comes First is that Kerner goes through detailed routines of strokes and techniques, in specific order. There’s no fluff like, “just keep licking!” Everything is laid out for you. I asked Kerner for a basic routine to start with, and he gladly obliged:
Spread her labia and focus on licking the area of the front commissure, just above the glans (the clitoris). Use the index finger of your free hand to occasionally intersperse horizontal finger strokes across the glans with vertical tongue strokes.
As her arousal is increasing, you can insert a single finger, or possibly two. Use your tongue at first to enhance arousal and then a finger to complement and push arousal to the next stage. Don’t try to “fuck” her vagina with either tongue or fingers. Press your fingers upwards into her G-spot, while applying persistent licks.
With your free hand, you can touch her breasts, gently squeeze her nipples, caress her stomach or place under a butt cheek for support.
This is a straightforward technique that can serve as a great place to start, but keep in mind that every person likes different things when it comes to cunnilingus. Some like oral and manual stimulation at the same time, while others don’t. Some orgasm best from tongue circles around the clitoris, others prefer a light sucking motion. Kerner recommends watching and listening to their reactions to find what works best, but there’s another old standby that works just as well (if not better): ask your partner! If they know what they like, they’ll probably gladly tell you. And if you two haven’t become comfortable talking about sex yet, we’ve written about how to get better—even if you’re shy.
Pay special attention to the commissure
Kerner’s approach to cunnilingus is unique in focusing on the commissure, which is the area right above the clitoris and clitoral hood. It’s a smooth area of skin that tends to get ignored, due to its proximity to the obviously more infamous clitoris. In his chapters on female anatomy, Kerner talks about the fact that pressure on the commissure can stimulate some of the internal fibers of the clitoris. Here’s one of Kerner’s specific technique for the pleasuring the commissure:
Make your mouth into an Elvis Presley snarl and press your gum into her front commissure. Make a seal between your gum and her front commissure. You want to be a bit high above the glans, at a 45 degree angle to her vaginal entrance. Continue to apply persistent licks.
If you’re having a hard time visualizing this, think about what your lips look like when you’re taking a bite out of an apple (minus the teeth of course!).
Prepare for orgasm
As your partner starts nearing orgasm, Kerner advises pulling their legs closer together to increase the stimulation. But there’s one thing, above all else, that you should remember as they gets close to orgasm: do not change what you’re doing in terms of routine and pacing. Do not let yourself get sped up by their rising intensity. Keep being deliberate and methodical. Consistency is key for most women, so once you’ve found something that works, stick to it and do not stray from the path! If you do, you may have a very frustrated partner on your hands.
The clitoris is extremely sensitive after orgasm, so give your partner a chance to cool down and settle back in before attempting any other action. Say how much you enjoyed lavishing attention on their beautiful body, and congratulate yourself on a job well done.
This article was originally published in June 2015 and updated on Dec. 30, 2020 to incorporate more gender-neutral language and align the content with current Lifehacker style.
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